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Edgar Nielsen @funymony

33, Male

Contract Artist

University Of Utah

Minnesota

Joined on 8/11/04

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Back in Minnesota!

Posted by funymony - July 28th, 2016


Hello, friends! I'm back in Minnesota!

These past few months have been a roller coaster. I'll try to summarize them the best I can.950790_146969080751_HelpTheSnowman.png

Last year, in June 2015, I moved with Natalie to her parent's house in Minnesota. Natalie's parents provided us with food and board as long as we worked hard on our animation careers. We accomplished a lot in 6 months (you can can read about it here!)  All that came to a stop in December when my Dad became mortally ill.

I flew back to Salt Lake City during the holidays to care for my father. He had a severe flu and had been taking sleep medications with alcohol to cope with his depression. All these symptoms made him despondent and hardly conscious. In time I was able to nurse him back to health and get him to a functional level. He then told me his final wish was for me and my brother to inherit his estate, repair it with his savings, and move in with our families.

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Natalie and I had no desire to move back to Salt Lake City because the living conditions for us there were horrible. The house was in disrepair and would require years of renovations to be up to code. Natalie and I struggled for months to scrounge up enough money to leave Salt Lake City behind and now we were being sucked back in!

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But I owed it to my father to try. He adopted me and took me in as his own. He helped my Mother gain citizenship and avoid free labor under the threat of deportation. He paid for my education and has always been there for me. My father was now giving me everything he had in his possession in exchange for help and it would be cruel of me to turn away and let him drink himself to death.

At the same time, I did not want to sacrifice my dreams and the progress that Natalie and I worked so hard to attain. We came to a compromise with my father that we would live in Salt Lake City and repair his home until my brother finished his service in the Marines. My brother would then take our place and look after my Dad.

I got to work immediately with my friend, Michael.

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Together we got my room to be in a "liveable" condition and even began installing a bathroom.

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Unfortunately my friend Mike had his own company to run and it was up to me to slowly finish the rest of the house. I lost steam after a month and left to go pick up Natalie and our dog, Shady. We moved back to Salt Lake City in March and hoped things would work out from there.

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I was immediately overwhelmed.

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The house was more than I could handle. The balcony is falling off, black mold stains the corners of every room, the roof is warped and leaking, there's cat hair and dust everywhere, the only portion of carpet in the house hasn't been vacuumed in years, and doing so could unleash more mold spores. Cat shit litters the garage and the walls are stained from my father's decades of smoking. There are many more details that I'm leaving out. I had a lot of problems to take care of on top of being a caretaker, "husband", animator, and having a regular job to sustain myself. 

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Three stolen vehicles were parked in our backyard in the span of a month and a half. Our garage was broken into. My father welcomed a drug dealer into our home hoping that I'd sell my old car to him in exchange for help putting up drywall. I declined the offer and my Dad was furious that I let an opportunity go to waste.

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Working with my father proved to be difficult as he wouldn't let me make the home suitable for me and Natalie. After the second stolen vehicle and garage break-in, he refused to let me build a fence in the backyard (for some weird unknown personal reason?) His compromise was that we take garbage, consisting of tree limbs and construction debris, to litter the backyard and make it unappealing for strangers to lounge around. So instead of having a fence, we would be being protected by a wall of garbage.

My father valued the cat's whims over our own safety. We installed bolt locks on the front door to heighten our security and my father would undo it by leaving the front window ajar for the cat to freely come in and out of the house any time of the day. After failing to reason with him, Natalie and my father began to ignore each other.

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My father is an old man who doesn't have good hygiene habits. He would use a rag instead of toilet paper to clean himself and would not wash his hands afterward. He would then drape the rag over the faucet and knobs of the bath tub making the only sterile room in the house filthy. He would also pet our dog often and we had to lock her in our room because we couldn't keep her clean.

Overall, things just sucked. Things weren't going to change.

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My Dad kept drinking, my job wasn't paying enough, nobody in the family was able to help me, and I didn't have any time to finish the remaining construction.

In the beginning of July I visited California and talked with some animator pals of mine who talked some sense into me. They helped me admit that this was a dead end and I had to start looking out for my future and what I wanted in life.

I apologized to my father that I couldn't fulfill his wishes and drove back to Minnesota with Natalie on short notice.

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I'm now getting settled in Minnesota feeling depressed about my decision. But I don't regret it.

I worked really hard, I tried, and I learned a lot about myself. 

My father is awesome and I hope to preserve what he gave me.
An education, a chance in life, and knowing what it's like to have a father who cares about me even though we're not blood related. Even though things didn't work out, I hope he'll stick around to watch me kick ass.

Love you, Dad.

-Edgar
(Funymony)

P.S. I turn 28 today. Happy Birthday to me.


Comments (7)

How long you type this?
Happy B'day and good luck ._.

Took me all day yesterday to iron out my experience in words. I'm happy I took photos throughout the year to help illustrate the situation I was going through. There's a lot more to be said, but I think this will do.

Thank you!

Woah dude, your life took quite a detour! I hope things work out alright for your dad and am glad to hear you are back in a much healthier situation.

Thanks, Tom! It was a crazy ride! It's nice to be able to breathe and recover.

My Dad was anticipating this move and he was understanding when we left. He has family to keep him company so he'll be alright. As for me, it's time to get comfy and get back to doing what I love!

Holy shit man...That's some real tough stuff you had to handle there. I can't imagen how I would feel about this. All these situations you were into sound so "unreal" to me because that would never ever happen here.

It's a good thing you could admit for yourself that you tried but things weren't going to change with your dad. People do change over time, some for the better, some sadly for the worse. Even if it hurt you much, I guess from what you were telling, it was better to leave and get your own life into shape, rather than staying in this situation.

Hope to see you back in action soon.

Thanks dude. Living with my father has always been difficult.

My Dad is set in his ways. Everything we did to make ourselves comfortable there seemed like an inconvenience and an unnecessary luxury to him.

When I needed an office chair for my work, he insisted we cut up part of an old couch cushion and put it on one of our old wooden chairs. A lot of things in the house are built like that.

He would drink out of yogurt cups instead of using glassware. I replaced his old dish rack with a new one and found the old one fished out of the garbage and back in place the next day. Nothing could be upgraded or at least TRY to look nice

Oh well, as long as my father is happy. I just can't live like that anymore. lol

The plan now is to catch up on some animation work and get back to my personal projects. Now that I'm out of there I'll have plenty of time.

I remember saying that these situations are only temporary and I'm glad that they ended for you sooner so you can get back to your goals. It was awesome that you were thinking about your father and that you wanted to do as much as you can to help but it was also good that you were thinking about yourself and your future. You made a choice that is now gonna lead you to open opportunities instead of being on a path with no directions. Best of Luck to you and your father;)

Thank you so much.
The situation was temporary but damn was it difficult. I've been able to relax and rest easy these past two days and now I'm feeling rejuvenated.

My computer and Cintiq are set up. I'm surrounded by nature. My art books are sitting behind me.
Flash is open and the internet is waiting.

TIME TO KICK BUTT.

you gotta live your life man, you can try all you want to help people but if they're not willing to help themselves then sadly your just wasting your time, they have to want to get better if it's ever going to happen, and you made a big change in your life to show him that you did still care but as you said he kept drinking and in the end it didn't matter. I used to be an addict, I'm clean now, and sadly the only thing that got me to really get my life together, stop using, start taking care of myself, and get a decent job, was for everyone in my life to leave me. For me to really feel like I had lost everyone and that only a big change in my life could bring anyone back, a lot of people tried to help before it got this far and I just wouldn't listen, as long as people were willing to put up with me a part of myself was always able to justify it. I don't blame any of them for leaving me, it wasn't there responsibility to look out for me, that's only mine and mine alone, I hope your dad will come to see this, but in the end you have to look out for yourself, and know that there are A LOT of options your dad can go about to get help if he really does want it. You're doing what you need to do, it's up to him to do what he needs to, take care man, and happy birthday.

Thanks so much. That's exactly what is happening. I was just holding his hand as he tried to drink himself to death. He expressed that as his wish at one point. He's done everything he wanted to in life and he just wants to end it. But I can't stick around as he does it, especially with my girlfriend living with me being forced to watch. It's just a terrible situation.

But things are a lot lighter now that I'm not there anymore. And from what I hear from my mother, he's doing a little better. Still doing his routine as usual, and I bet he's probably a little relieved that we're in a better place being taken care of.

Thanks again dude. Things will definitely be better from here on out.

Happy Birthday man.
Glad to see that you tried your best to help out. I can understand how frustrating it can be when someone is set in their ways making it nearly unfeasible to assist them. I'm happy with the decision you took. Yes, you might fell bad at the moment. Almost a feeling of desertion, but in the long run like you said you'll not regret that choice. Your future needs to be considered and in the long run your father would full heartily agree with these choices. That a good one ;)

I just caught this late but Forosha and I were so relieved the minute Natalie messaged about you guys moving. I know this wasn't an easy decision but you tried your very best and we all just want you to be happy.

It's been a couple months since the big move so I hope everything is going well for you guys!

It was very tough and if it wasn't for you guys we'd probably still be there. We really needed that push to tip the scale and make us feel confident in our decision. We took the advice to heart and left the following week.

We have been much better since. Natalie and I have been regaining balance in our lives and our wheels are finally turning again. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! <333

We hope you're doing great as well, if you guys ever need an additional pair of doodling hands, let us know! :D